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Sorry you can't get through

"Thankyou for calling the Consulate General of (insert any country whatsoever) in (insert any city whatsoever). If you would like meaningless information, dial numbers 1 through 9. If you would like us to pretend there is an operator to take your call, press 0."

*0*

"Sorry, all our operators don't actually exist. In fact, even if you called during the 3 out of every 24 hours we are open, Monday to Friday, we will not answer your call. Ever. In sheer desperation, you may blindly send your documents halfway around the world. Of course, as you have not consulted with us, you are oblivious to Stupid Regulation 67 Section B and we cannot process your application. We hope your slim window of opportunity to get a visa has expired and you are now fucked."

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jan. 30th, 2007 12:21 am (UTC)
You’re misery makes me stronger.

Keep up the good work.

Love H.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 30th, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
Pointless information - option 3
Hi Pauly,

It's Mark from your beloved Melbourne. Sorry I'm late, but Happy Australia Day! We had a beer or two for you in you icy absence. I haven't read everyone's comments, so this may be old news, but my Dad died on the 24th. He was in hospital less than 48 hours, so at least it wasn't a long drawn out struggle. The funeral was yesterday (29th). It was a nice service, a couple of Dad's mates said a few words about his past that raised an eyebrow or two! There's not too much else to report from C-Town except that you are missing a great summer! It's my birthday next week (29 *shudder*), so I guess I'll have another drink on your behalf! I'm sorry to hear about your visa woes, but if it's any consolation, if you get stuck in Wintereg, your excuse that it's small 'cause it's cold won't seem so lame!

Stay frosty,

Mark.
paulfraser
Jan. 30th, 2007 05:36 am (UTC)
Re: Pointless information - option 3
Ah mate, I'm sorry to hear that. He was a good bloke and from what I saw he kept in good spirits even when things were bad with your Mum and then with himself. I can't say I'm surprised his mates said he had some secret adventures; I always saw hints of something cheeky just under the surface.

I've finally found a good Canuck beer, which I had sampled years ago in Melbourne: the old Moosehead. I'll be sure to have a couple on your birthday.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:43 am (UTC)
Moosehead
You found Moosehead?!? I've tried so many times to find it in Australia (I had it a few times a good few years ago), but apparently they've stopped exporting it. I always thought it was really nice ... I even have an empty in my (recently decimated) bottle collection, as well as a shirt lying around somewhere. Hopefully it'll be available in NYC!

And yeah, I'm sorry to hear about Mark's dad. No matter when it happens, it's untimely. If you're reading, Mark, have a great birthday.

toodles for now,
Rob
paulfraser
Feb. 1st, 2007 04:22 am (UTC)
Re: Moosehead
Heh heh. I remember a few lunch times at the Moosehead with the Moosehead.

Have you tried the uber Dan Murphy's? I'm sure is they can bring in 4 kinds of Baltika they must have it.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 30th, 2007 02:47 am (UTC)
Paul- I hope you get your visa. That's awful. *fingers crossed*

Mark- So sorry about your dad. :(

- Jodie x
paulfraser
Jan. 30th, 2007 05:38 am (UTC)
Yeah, it puts my moaning about trivial travel rubbish in perspective.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 31st, 2007 11:12 am (UTC)
But you elevate moaning about trivial rubbish to an art form.


Also, I just sent Geoff the link to this here blog.

Now taking bets, will he get around to checking it out before Paulie gets home?

- H.
paulfraser
Feb. 1st, 2007 12:23 am (UTC)
Hmm, it is a long shot, but then again we never expected him to use that big word 'girlfriend' to describe a ladyfriend and he stunned us into dropping our drinks on that one.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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