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January 28th, 2007

Sorry you can't get through

"Thankyou for calling the Consulate General of (insert any country whatsoever) in (insert any city whatsoever). If you would like meaningless information, dial numbers 1 through 9. If you would like us to pretend there is an operator to take your call, press 0."

*0*

"Sorry, all our operators don't actually exist. In fact, even if you called during the 3 out of every 24 hours we are open, Monday to Friday, we will not answer your call. Ever. In sheer desperation, you may blindly send your documents halfway around the world. Of course, as you have not consulted with us, you are oblivious to Stupid Regulation 67 Section B and we cannot process your application. We hope your slim window of opportunity to get a visa has expired and you are now fucked."

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